


Broken Pieces (Stucky Short Story)

by SupernaFrerard



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Steve Rogers, Boys In Love, Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes Returns, Canon Gay Relationship, Dreams and Nightmares, Falling In Love, Gay Rights, Hurt Steve Rogers, Love, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaFrerard/pseuds/SupernaFrerard
Summary: Bucky's been damaged. He's been manipulated, he's been abused, yet he remembers Steve. And remembers all that he went through. Broken or not, Steve loves him either way. As a brother, and something more. (Contains sadness and feels, and also love.





	1. Nightmare's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I apologize if what I have written isn't accurate with anything or whatever, but I hope you like it <3.

_"Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face,_  
_You told me how proud you were but I walked away._  
_If only I knew what I know today._  
  
_I would hold you in my arms,_  
_I would take the pain away._  
_Thank you for all you've done,_  
_Forgive all your mistakes._

 _There's nothing I wouldn't do,_  
_To hear your voice again._  
_Sometimes I wanna call you, but I know you won't be there."_

_-"Hurt" by Christina Aguilera_

_*~*_

(Steve's POV)

I dreamt of the day I saw him again. The last time I had seen him, I had watched as he fell off that train. That was by far the worst day of my life. You don't know pain until you watch the second person closest to your heart, fall to their death during a war, and not be able to stop it. And for seventy plus years, I thought he was gone. I thought I would never see his face, hear his voice, hear his laugh, and spend the rest of my life without my best friend.

I dreamed of when I fought The Winter Soldier and realized it was Bucky after I knocked the mask covering the lower half of his face, off. I thought my heart had stopped when I saw his face. I had said his name, but he just asked "Who the hell is Bucky?" 

Then I dreamt about us fighting again. I was trying to get him to remember me. I said "You know me." He said "No, I don't!" And attacked me. I didn't fight back, because I couldn't hurt him. He wasn't himself, they messed with his head. I said "Bucky. you've known me your entire life. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes..." I was the only other one allowed to call him by his real name, next to his Ma. He yelled "SHUT UP!" And hit me.

He was beating me near to a pulp, and I wasn't gonna fight back. I'd let my best friend kill me, before I ever hurt him. I was trying to catch my breath, but it hurt. I said "I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend.." I dropped my shield and he lunged at me. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground with him on top of me, hitting me over and over. He screamed "You're my mission! YOU ARE MY MISSION!"

I laid there bruised and bloodied just waiting for him about to deliver the final blow. I looked at him and said "Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line." Suddenly, the sound of screaming woke me up.

 ***

(Reality)

I quickly opened my eyes and launched myself up out of bed, and ran to where the screaming came from. I realized it was Bucky who was screaming. It's been almost a month since we found Bucky. I was scared we were never gonna find him, it's like he had just vanished. 

I quickly opened the door to his room, and ran over to his bedside. He was kicking wildly, sweating a lot, and screaming "NO! NO! STOP IT! NOT AGAIN, PLEASE! STOP! STOP IT! NOOOOO!!" "Bucky!" I yelled, trying to stop him from moving. I said "Bucky, it's me! Wake up! It's only a dream, wake up!" He stopped moving and his eyes shot open. 

I said "There you go, it's okay Buck...It was only a bad-" he cut me off by quickly sitting up and throwing his arms around me. He hugged me tight and said "What's wrong with me, Steve?" Crying into my shoulder. I held him and said "Nothing's wrong with you, Bucky...You were having a nightmare...They can't hurt you anymore, you're safe." I stayed as he cried himself out and I asked "Do you want to tell me what you were dreaming about? You don't have to, Buck." 

He shook his head and said "No, no, I want to." He said he dreamt that he was being dragged back into the room where they shocked his brain. He said that he was starting to remember me again, and they threw him into the chair to make him forget. He was trying desperately to get out and not let them do it again, because he wanted to remember me.

It was really early in the morning, still pitch black outiside. After he told me about his dream, he said "It felt too real....If they had shocked me, I would've tried to kill you again.." I said "It wasn't real, Buck. They don't own you anymore, you're safe with us." Us being me, and the rest of the Avenger's.

He nodded and said "I believe you.." He looked up at me and said "You're a good friend, Steve...Even if my memory is still hazy." I said "Don't worry about it Bucky, give it some time...Do you wanna go back to sleep?" He shook his head and said "No, no, I can't...I'm afraid of having the dream again.." 

I nodded and said "Okay...Do you want me to stay with you?" He nodded and said "Please?" I said "Always, Buddy." I stayed up with him the rest of the night, and by 6 AM, he had passed out. But he didn't have the dream again, he was sleeping peacefully, curled up beside me. I smiled and said "Sweet dreams, Buck." And slowly got off the bed.

I quietly opened the door and looked back at him, before walking out. I walked out into the kitchen to see Natasha and Tony, sitting in the kitchen. Tony offered us our own place in Stark Tower, mainly just in case problems arise that we'd need to take care of. 

They both looked over at me and Tony said "Well good morning sunshine, how are we today?" I asked "What are you guys doing here?" Natasha said "Well for one, I live here in this building now, and two, we just wanted to see how Bucky was doing." I nodded and Tony asked "Speaking of which, where is our little bundle of psychologically and emotionally damaged former weapon of destruction at?" 

I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm and said "In his room...He had a nightmare last night, and I stayed up with him since 2 AM...He finally fell asleep.." Tony said "Awwww." Natasha asked "What did he dream about?" I said "He dreamt that Hydra tried to wipe his memory again... I woke up to hear him screaming, and woke him up." 

Natasha said "Poor thing...He's really gotta talk to someone...Keeping all of those emotions locked up, it won't be pretty if he snaps." I said "Bucky refuses to talk to any therapist. Nor would I want him to talk to one." Tony said "Oh so you're totally okay with your BFF having a full blown emotional break down, and potentially harming himself or others, and trashing the place?" 

I said "Dammit Stark, I'm getting sick of you and your sarcasm!" Natasha said "Steve, we are just trying to get Bucky past this! God only knows what he's been through, he needs to let go of the bad memories so he can move on with his life." I stopped and realized she was right. Bucky shouldn't live the rest of his life with what he's been through. He's been brainwashed, turned into a weapon, and would've been taken down if I didn't get through to him. I haven't seen him smile in almost eighty years. He had a great smile.

I nodded and said "Okay...What therapist do you have in mind?" They both said "Banner." I raised an eyebrow and asked "Bruce Banner?" Tony said "No, Bruce Jenner genius, yes Banner." I didn't know who Bruce Jenner was, but I just asked "Why?" Natasha said "I think Banner can relate to Bucky...Plus I'm sure Bucky could trust him more than any other therapist." She has a good point. Being a weapon of destruction without being in control of yourself, sounds about equal with them.

I nodded and said "Okay...But you'd have to ask Bucky." "Ask me what?" Being said by a groggy voice. We all looked to see Bucky standing a couple feet behind me, wrapped up in a blanket, and yawning. He didn't look good. I said "Hey buddy, I thought you were sleeping?" He said "I was, but I couldn't sleep, I heard talking, and you were gone."

I instantly felt bad for leaving him and said "Sorry buddy, I had stepped out to go make us some breakfast, to see Natasha and Tony in here." He looked at Natasha, smiled a little and said "Hey Natasha." She smiled and said "Hey Bucky." He looked over at Tony, who did kind of smile, and said "Hey Buckaroo, how have you been?" Bucky grunted and Natasha and I giggled. He doesn't like Tony much. Not that we can blame him.

He then asked "So what do you guys wanna talk to me about?" I looked over at Romanov and Stark for help, but Tony just shrugged and said "He's your boyfriend, not mine." And sipped from his coffee cup. Boyfriend? Bucky's not my boyfriend. I cleared my throat and said "Well um Buck....They wanted to know if you'd like to have therapy sessions with Doctor Banner." "Is he the guy that turns into the pissed off green thing and has a huge crush on Natasha?" 

I nodded and said "Yeah, that's him." He asked "Why does he want to be my shrink? I told you, I don't need a damn shrink-" I said "Bucky, he just wants to help you get over whats happened to you." "Get over it? Do you really think I can get over what they did to me?! What I almost did to you and your friends?! There is no getting over this!" 

I carefully went over and placed my hands on his shoulders. I said "I didn't mean it that way, Buck. None of us could ever understand what's happened to you, but they don't want you to get hurt again...I don't want you to get hurt again...I miss having the old Bucky back-" "The old Bucky died when he fell off that train...I'm never gonna be the way I was, Steve!"

"I know...I know, and I wish to God they had never hurt you, and I want to kill every last one of them...But Doctor Banner knows how you feel." He studied my face and quietly said "How would he know, Steve?" Natasha said "He knows how it feels to not be in control. To feel like a mindless monster who does nothing but destroy things. He works so hard not to turn into his bad side, but it happens sometimes. Bucky, Steve just wants you to be happy. Yes it's hard to ignore your past, but we want to help you through it." 

Bucky looked from her and back to me and asked "When would he like to see me?" Tony said "He said anytime is good. It doesn't have to be right now, if that's not what you want. He's a good guy, you'll like him. He's trustworthy." Bucky nodded and said "Alright....C-Can I see him tomorrow? In the afternoon?" They nodded and Tony said "I'll let him know." Bucky nodded again and said "Thanks."

After they left, Bucky sat in silence as I made breakfast. He just sat at the counter, staring down at the expensive looking granite countertop, while I fixed us pancakes like my Ma used to make us. As I was wrapping up, he asked "Steve?" I quickly looked over at him and asked "Yeah?" He looked up and asked "Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? Back when you knocked my mask off?" 

Hearing that killed me on the inside and I said "Buck, I could never kill you. I'd be crazy to, I'd never do that." He said "But I tried to kill you, more than once. And you hardly ever fought back." I nodded and saw flashbacks of us fighting, and said "I know." He said "I could've killed you, and been done with it....Why did you try so hard to get through to me?" 

I took a deep breath and sighed, before saying "Cause you have always stayed by my side our whole lives, Buck. You and I hardly argued, and I was always afraid you'd be tired of me, or that I was dragging you down. You had other friends, you had tons of girls that liked you, yet you stayed with scrawny, weakling old me. Why you did, I'll never know why. You and I have been through hell together, and I would've let you kill me. If it had come to it, I'd let my best friend in the whole world kill me before some bad guy does. And like I said, I'm with you 'til the end of the line."

He just stared at me and tries to say something, but couldn't. Then he said "I think...I think I remember me saying that to you." I smiled and said "Yeah, you did. Good job, Buddy." He smiled a little and I finished cooking before the pancakes start burning. We ate in silence for awhile and asked "Steve?" I looked up at him and he said "I can't... I can't remember much from when I first came here...After you guys found me...What happened?" 

I said "Well the first week was rather interesting. You hardly talked to any of us, you hardly ate, you didn't sleep for three days. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night, hearing you screaming from a nightmare, or I'd be beside you while you puked your guts out. A couple of times, you'd come into my room, wake me up, and ask if you could sleep with me in my bed. Which I never refused. But then when you'd wake up in the morning, you'd jump out of bed like it was on fire, looking at me in horror. It was a rough week, but we got through it."

He nodded and asked "Why did I jump out of the bed and look at you in horror?" I shrugged and said "Maybe you were just scared. That's nothing to be ashamed of Buck, it's okay if you're scared, we get it. It'll take some time getting you adjusted and helping you with your memory, but we'll get there." He nodded again and asked "Promise?" I smiled and said "Of course, Buddy." 

 


	2. Hydra Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changing the title of this, next chapter will be called We're All Broken, Sometimes.

_"I had a dream about a burning house,_  
_You were stuck inside, I couldn't get you out._  
_I laid beside you and pulled you close,_  
_And the two of us went up in smoke._  
  
_Love isn't all that it seems, I did you wrong,_  
_I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone._  
  
_I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night,_  
_Trying to take what's lost and broke and make it right._  
_I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire,_  
_But it's the only place that I can hold you tight._  
_In this burning house."_

_-"Burning House" by CAM_

_*~*_

I woke up to a knock on my door. I groaned and said "Come in." The door opened and Bucky was standing there. He was wearing some PJ's of mine that I let him have, and I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I asked "You okay, Buck?" He nodded and said "Yeah, I think so..." I could see he looked nervous, and I asked "Did you have another nightmare?" 

He said "I was starting to...I decided to come to you...If that's okay." I nodded and said "Of course buddy, it's okay. You wanna stay up again?" He shook hood head and said "No, you need to sleep...I'll just go back to my room-" I groaned and "James Buchanan Barnes, get your ass over here, in this bed, right now." He stood still for a moment before nodding and getting under the covers next to me.

It felt a little awkward with me being shirtless and him wearing a shirt, but it wasn't too bad. He moved until he was lying next to me, staring up at the ceiling. I looked over at him and asked "Do you wanna talk about your dream? What you saw before you woke up?" He nodded and said "I saw us fighting...You were trying to talk to me, but I wasn't listening...I had a feeling I was gonna do something bad, so I forced myself to wake up." I asked "How'd you manage that?" He chuckled and said "I punched myself in the dick." 

We both laughed and he said "Yeah, that definitely got me awake. I didn't punch too hard, just enough to where I could feel it." I nodded and then we fell into silence. I just watched him stare at the ceiling until he spoke. "I was afraid that I was gonna kill you in the dream...I couldn't stand to see it, so I had to wake up."

I said "It wasn't real, Bucky." He said "I know...But still, I wouldn't wanna see it happen. Dream or not." I nodded and said "Neither would I." He looked over at me and asked "Do you have nightmares?" I nodded and said "Sometimes, yeah." He asked "What would you see?" I said "You wouldn't remember if I told you." He turned on his side to where he was fully facing me. He said "I still wanna know." 

I nodded and asked "Can you remember anything? Before it was just you and I fighting? Do you remember anything far back?" His eyes then fixed on the wall behind me and said "I remember being on a train...I was on the outside, and so were you...I think we were trying to reach each other. Before I could get to you, I fell." That's when I could see it too. Until the day I die, I'll always see him falling from the train. 

I said "I see that too." His eyes fixed back on me and he asked "You do?" I nodded and said "Before all of this, we both were in a war. I was changed, I found you, and we were fighting together. At some point, you and I were on a train. We had gotten separated, and decided to try and get back together by trying to get you back on my side, by you going to the outside of the train, and move until you got to me...It was a horrible mistake. I reached out to you. You slipped. And that was the last time I had seen you. Then for seventy years, I was frozen. I got woken up, became apart of a team known as The Avenger's. And then came you."

He asked "How did you get frozen?" I said "Well after I beat this crazy son of a bitch, I hijacked the plane he was on. I was talking to a woman I knew, and she tried to get me to send her my coordinates. I refused, and crashed. Next thing I know, I'm woken up by a grumpy man with an eyepatch. He told me I was in the future."

He looked at me confused and said "That's impossible...That can't happen, you wouldn't look like you do-" "Bucky, you were put under Cryostasis. Your body was frozen and you were asleep for a long time. Just like I was. We were both asleep, and we were woken up. Hydra brainwashed you, wiped your memory, and turned you into their weapon. Otherwise, we'd both look like wrinkly old men."

He just stared at me dumbfounded, and didn't say a word. I said "Bucky, they don't have you anymore. They have abused you, and turned you into something that you're not, but they can't hurt you again. We will protect you, we will help you get your memory back...They turned you into a nightmare, so we're going to become theirs. Hydra will fall." 

He nodded and said "Hydra will fall." I smiled and patted him on his neck. "Atta boy." He smiled and suddenly it felt like how it was before I was given the serum. I realized I had spaced out and was staring at him, trying to think of something to say. But before I could, he leaned in and his lips touched mine.

I was shocked and still processing what was happening. Bucky is kissing me. Bucky Barnes. The Ladykiller of Brooklyn New York. The guy that's had more girls than I had books. I envied how Bucky was since we were kids. He was always confident, care free, charming. He wasn't always the brightest when it came to certain situations, but he was the guy I've always looked up to. 

Then he pulled away and looked at me. That's when I realized I didn't do anything when he kissed me, and the look in his eyes felt like a bullet to the gut. He looked down and but his lip, slowly scootchubg away from me. He mumbled "Sorry...I shouldn't have done that.." He threw the sheets off of him and was about get out, when I grabbed him by his arm. 

He looked down at my hand, and back up to me and said "Steve-" I pulled him back to me and pressed our foreheads together, me screwing my eyes shut. I said "Don't talk." Before my lips were on his. I felt bad for not kissing him back, and I didn't want him to hate me. And I had always wondered what kissing a guy would feel like. Although back then, two guys kissing would be outrageous, but these days it's different. 

I wasn't trying to make it too dramatic like some chick flick, it was just a couple of simple, sweet kisses. It felt nice. No wonder the girls were always all over him. I pulled back and he went in for another kiss, before we looked at each other. He said "I'm sorry...It just felt like the right thing to do.." I nodded and said "Don't be....I kissed ya back, didn't I?" 

He smiled and yawned. I asked "Tired, Buck?" He nodded and said "Yeah." I smiled and he laid back down, while I joined him. He said "Will you be there?" I asked "For what, Buddy?" He said "For when I go see Doctor Banner." I nodded and said "Of course." He smiled and said "Thank you...Goodnight, Steve." I smiled back and said "Goodnight, Bucky."

***

For once I didn't dream since I fell asleep. This would be the first time in a long time. I didn't see Bucky fall, I didn't even dream of how things were before I was given the serum. I just had a dreamless sleep. It felt peaceful. Maybe with Bucky here with me, I could stop having nightmares. I just hope the same for Bucky.

I opened my eyes and groaned, while I stretched my arms. I looked down and saw Bucky curled right beside me like yesterday. He looked so peaceful. His head was on my pillow, one hand was on my stomach. I was so tempted to put my arm around him and just hold him against me.

Suddenly a thought just shot through my mind. I'm falling in love with Bucky! Am I? Then I thought back to before he went off to fight in the war. I was so sad and scared that he was gonna get hurt or that I was never gonna see him again. And before that, all the smiles he gave me, how he took care of me after my Ma died, how I took care of him when his Ma died. We took care of each other. And I always felt strange around him. Like I'd have a weird feeling in my stomach or in my chest. But I always played it off as a potential asthma attack, and forced myself to calm down.

But now I see that those weren't asthma attacks. It was me not seeing the fact that I love Bucky. From the day we met, I loved him. But I think I'm just falling harder.

I snapped out of it when I felt movement beside me. I looked down and Bucky was yawning, and trying to open his eyes like a newborn puppy. His blue eyes finally came to view, and they looked up at me. He asked "Steve?" I smiled and said "Hey, Buddy...How'd you sleep?" He said "I slept alright...You?" I said "I slept good...You hungry?" He nodded and I said "Alright, I'll get some breakfast started. You can stay in here if you want. Be comfy."

I swung my legs over until my feet were touching the ground, and sighed. I grabbed my shirt that was on the floor, and pulled it on. I yawned and walked out of the room and went to the kitchen. I decided to just do the ever so popular, bowl of cereal, and fortunately found some. I heard Bucky pull up a chair at the counter, and I smiled. But he couldn't see it.

I fixed his and handed it to him before fixing mine. Then I sat down next to him and we ate in silence. Afterwards, we sat down in the living room, watching a cartoon called Tom & Jerry, about a cat and a mouse always trying to kill each other. I think it was made in the 40's, I can't remember. Bucky was curled up next to me with his head on my shoulder, while my arm was wrapped his waist. We laughed at some of the stupid stuff they were doing, but didn't talk much.

After awhile Bucky said "I can't believe this is actually a kids show." I laughed and said "I know. Well actually I'm sure a cat and mouse always trying to kill each other with different weapons, is good for the development of strong minds, Buck." He giggled and said "Did we ever watch this?" I shrugged and said "I'm not sure...I don't think so. But I find it entertaining." He nodded and said "Me too."

I smiled and kissed the top of his head, causing him to snuggle closer to me. I sighed and said "Man...I could do this all day." He said "Me too." I smiled and looked down at him, only to see he was looking up at me. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his forehead, then down to his nose, before I finally reached his lips. 

He quickly shifted to where he was sitting up, and kissed me back. I smiled against his lips and I moved some of his hair behind his ear, before resting my hand on the back of his neck. After a few minutes, I pulled back and sighed. I smiled and looked into his icy blue eyes. His eyes were always a feature I admired about him. Despite their intense color, they were always kind and filled with hope... Well, they used to be. I said "You are so beautiful." I wanted to say something else, but I was afriad to...But I couldn't keep it back anymore.

"I love you, Bucky...I love you so much. Since the day I met you...And even if you can't remember me...It won't ever change for me." He just stared at me, ans before he could speak, a different voice interrupted us. "Awwww that's so sweet....I think I'm gonna cry."

We both looked over to see Tony, Bruce, Natasha, and Sam standing there. Tony, Natasha, and Sam were dressed in their suits, while Bruce was just in normal clothes. We all know he doesn't need a suit. Tony turned to Bruce and said "You owe me a hundred dollars, Banner." Bruce rolled his eyes and said "Later." 

I ignored that and I stood up. "What's going on?" Natasha said "Tony had JARVIS scan the city for any Hydra cells nearby, and he managed to find two close by...We're going to take them out. Less Hydra cells, the better." I nodded and asked "Where's Thor and and Clint?" Sam said "They're gonna meet us there." We nodded and Tony said " Suit up boys, y'all can play Mommy and Daddy later." 

***

I drove my shield into the face of a Hydra soldier, knocking him out instantly, before moving onto the next one. We had succefully infiltrated one of the two Hydra cells, but were outnumbered. We weren't expecting a big turn out. But we could handle it, we've had worse. 

After taking down a couple more saps, my eyes found Bucky. He was busy working on a couple of them, taking them down easily. His metal arm helps a lot, but he was strong even before it. He's been in plenty of scraps since we were kids. Bullies, kissing the wrong guys girl, he can take care of himself.

My focus was broken when another guy came after me. Then another. I'm getting tired of these guys. I took care of them and that's when a couple shots rang out. Not that we didn't expect them, but it was dangerously close. I looked over and saw Bucky take down a guy, but then he slowly stood up. 

There weren't any more guys coming at moment, but I just wanted to be sure he was okay. His back stayed facing me, and I asked "You okay, Bucky?" He slowly turned to face me, holding a hand to his stomach. Then he pulled his hand away, and my heart sank. His hand was covered in blood. He said "S-Steve." I ran over to him and catches him just before he could fall to the ground.

I dropped to my knees with his torso on my lap, and I yelled "GUYS, I NEED HELP! I NEED HELP, BUCKY'S DOWN! BUCKY'S DOWN! HURRY PLEASE!!" Then I said "Easy there, Buck...Helps on the way.." He said "I-I had a vest on...I-I had one, but...But they still went through..." I said "Don't worry about it, Buck...You're fine, you'll be alright..a here let me just.." I pressed my hand against his stomach to try and stop the bleeding. I pulled it away for a second, and it too was covered with blood.

My eyes filled up with tears and I put my hand back on the spot. I said "Just breathe, Buck..Help's on the way...Just stay with me, and we'll get you all patched up.." He looked up at me and coughed, some blood coming out of his mouth. I said "Oh God, GUYS HURRY!!" 

He said "Steve?" I said "Yeah Buck, I'm right here...I'm right here, baby." He smiled and said "I love...I love you too...I don't know...Why I didn't say it sooner.." He started having a coughing fit, and I said "It's okay, Buck...I believe you." He said "I love...You so much...Hey, hey, why you crying?" I laughed and said "You hurt, Buck...I'd be stupid not to." 

He said "Don't cry...Don't cry, Steve...I'll be alright.......Kiss me....Just one last time...Kiss me." I nodded and leaned in and kissed his blood stained lips, wishing it could heal him, but it can't. Then his eyes started to close, and I said "No no, Bucky, stay awake...Stay awake, please!" He said "I just...I just need to close my eyes for...For just a minute.." "No, no, NO! BUCKY!! BUCKY WAKE UP!!! PLEASE GOD, NOOOO!!!"


	3. Touch and Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE CALLED WE'RE ALL BROKEN, SOMETIMES, I PROMISE!!

_"Frozen inside without your touch_  
_Without your love, darling_  
_Only you are the life among the dead._

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,_  
_Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me._  
_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,_  
_Got to open my eyes to everything._  
_Without a thought, without a voice, without a sou,l_  
_Don't let me die here._  
_There must be something more!_  
_Bring me to life!_

_(Wake me up)_  
_Wake me up inside,_  
_(I can't wake up)_  
_Wake me up inside,_  
_(Save me)_  
_Call my name, and save me from the dark._  
_(Wake me up)_  
_Bid my blood to run,_  
_(I can't wake up)_  
_Before I come undone,_  
_(Save me)_  
_Save me from the nothing I've become._

_Bring me to life._  
_(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)_  
_Bring me to life."_

 

_-"Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence_  

_***_

We managed to get bucky back to Stark Tower, where Tony and Bruce worked to try and save him. I watched as they removed the bullets, but I wasn't alright. I was pacing back and forth in the room with them there, and none of us spoke a word. 

Then Bruce looked at me and said "Steve please, sit down." I shook my head and said "No." Tony said "Look Roger's, we're trying to work here, and your pacing isn't helping!-" "I DON'T CARE, STARK!" I quickly turned and punched a hole through the wall, making Sam and Natasha who were standing just outside in the hallway, jump. 

I turned back and looked at them, my blood boiling. I yelled "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO, JJST FIX HIM!" Bruce said "Steve, we can't just simply fix him. We don't know if this could work, it's touch and go right now." Suddenly Sam and Natasha came in the room and Natasha said "Steve...Steve, you need to calm down. They're doing the best they can." 

My eyes started watering again, and I said "Please...Please just save him...I'm not gonna lose him again, please..." I dropped down to my knees and started crying. I felt someome next to me and realized it was Natasha. She said "Steve...He'll be okay...You just need to calm down, and let them work." I nodded and then I thought of something.

I looked up at them and asked "What about that one machine? Remember? The one that helped Clint when he got hurt, before Ultron?" Tony said "That machine is on the S.H.E.I.L.D mothership, Steve." Bruce looked up at Tony and said "No...No, we have the same technology here...Not the exact same thing, but it doesn't mean it's useless." I asked "Can...Can you please use it?" Bruce nodded and said "We will...We will, I didn't know why I didn't think of it sooner. C'mon, we gotta move him."

***

(Bucky's POV)

I groaned and slowly opened my eyes, but everything was fuzzy. I could hear beeping, and I was lying down. I suddenly was afraid I was gonna wake up and those doctors who gave me my metal arm and turned me into that monster, were gonna be around me again.

But when my vision finally cleared, I looked to see that Doctor Banner was standing a few feet away, talking to Stark. They both looked over at me and smiled. Stark said "Well good morning sleepy head. You gave everyone quite a scare." I asked "Where am I?"

He said "You're back home...How do you feel?" I groaned and said "Like shit." I tried to sit up, but then I felt a pain in my stomach. I hissed at it and looked down to see I was shirtless, with some bandages on my stomach. I also saw tubes in my flesh arm. 

I looked up and Doctor Banner asked "Do you remember what happened?" I thought and said "Yeah...I remember we were at one of Hydra's cells...I remember getting shot....Steve stayed with me....Steve....Where is he?" Stark pointed on my right side, and there sat Steve in a chair right by my bed. He was asleep. 

Stark said "We had to force the stubborn bastard to eat and sleep...He refused to move away from you. Would only leave to go to the bathroom, and that was it." I asked "How long...How long have I been out?" Doctor Banner said "Six days...We were afraid you wouldn't come out of it. Your very lucky to be awake and speaking to us, Bucky." 

Six days? Damn. I looked over at Steve and then asked "When can I get up and move?" Doctor Banner said "Right now if you wish. You'll just have to take it easy for awhile. Be sure to eat, get plenty of sleep, and change your bandages twice a day." I nodded and he said "And whenever you're ready, you and I can have our talk." I said "Okay...Thank you." He smiled and nodded. And Stark asked "Well, I think it's time to wake up Mama bear." 

Then he walked over to Steve and gently smacked him on the face. "Hey! Roger's! Wake up!" He also shook him, until Steve's eyes shot open, and jumped. He looked at Stark and said "Wake up sunshine, Your little cub is awake." 

Steve's eyes widened, and he looked over at me. All the color drained in his face. I smiled and said "Hey, you...I'm all patched up...Just like you said." Suddenly I was engulfed in a hug and he said "Bucky! God dammit...I thought I was never gonna see you again..." I hugged back and said "Easy, Tiger...I gotta take it easy for awhile...Docs orders..." He pulled away and dropped down to his knees, grabbing my face in his hands.

Before I could say anything, he yanked me in and kissed me. I quickly relaxed into it and kissed him back, not caring if Stark or Banner was there. Stark cleared his throat and said "Yeah this is awkward, we should go." Neither of us responded, mainly cause Steve was kissing me all over my face.

I laughed and said "Alright Steve, Alright! I'm okay!" He pulled back and said "Sorry...I couldn't help myself...I'm just really happy you're okay.." I smiled and said "I promise, I'm okay. Now quit it before you get a boner." We both laughed and he kissed me again, but this time, it was just a soft kiss. He sighed and pressed our foreheads together.

"You scared me to death...I thought we'd be too late...I thought I was gonna lose you again.." I said "You won't...I'll be sure of that." He nodded and said "I hope so." He kissed me and said "I love you." I said "I love you too." And we started kissing again. We didn't separate for minutes, not even for air, until someone loudly cleared their throat. 

We broke away and looked over to see everyone standing there, awkwardly. I groaned and asked "Now what?" Natasha smiled and said "Well we were told you were awake, so we thought we'd come see you." Then Sam said "But if y'all wanna get a Honeymoon suite, we'll wait till you're done."

We laughed and Tony said "We should celebrate! Who wants some food!" We all cheered and I said "I wanna get up...Um..." Doctor Banner came over and helped get the stuff off and out of me, and said "There you go. Easy now." Steve grabbed my hand and gently pulled me up, and steadied me. I nearly fell, but he was there to help me up.

Everyone cheered and carefully hugged me, before Stark asked "So Barnes, ever had Shwarma before?" I shook my head and said "Uhhh no." He nodded and said "Good, let's go then. I'm buying! You still owe me money, Banner!" Doctor Banner groaned and said "Tony, you're a Billionaire, do you really _need_ a hundred dollars from me??"  

***

(Bucky's Dream)

 

I heard the sound of a shot firing while I was fighting one of Hydra's little pets. I felt it go through my vest and hit me. My vest wasn't very thick, and it went through. Then I heard a second shot. 

It was so painful, but I couldn't scream in pain. I could hardly make a sound at all, because it felt like all the air in my body, was shot out. I could hear Steve screaming for help, and I knew I was gonna die. 

I wasn't afraid of dying. I've seen and done enough in my life since I came the Winter Soldier, to wish I was dead. I didn't want to leave Steve though. That was the hardest part. Despite that I can't recall all that him and I have been through, because I could feel it in my bones that we've been through hell together, I didn't wanna leave him. All I could think of as I laid there was _'Thank God it's me and not you.'_

Then I imagined it was him. I imagined hearing the shots ring out. I imagined him dying. I imagined living without him. The dream felt so real. I wanted to kill every last son of a bitch that belonged to Hydra. They have to pay. For everything they done, what they put me through, and what they almost had me do to Steve.They will end, and I will be the one who ends them. 

I dreamed I was crying and screaming, throwing things. I cried as I shot up all of them, and kept them from hurting anyone else. That's when I heard my name.

***

(Reality)

 

"Bucky! Bucky baby, wake up!!" I opened my eyes to see Steve's face. Such a beautiful thing to look at. He said "Jesus Bucky, you scared me. I woke up cause I heard you crying and screaming. What happened?"

I told him about what happened in the dream. He held me while I cried. He said "It's okay Bucky, I'm here. I'm alright." I closed my eyes and said "Good...Let's make it stay that way." He kissed the top of my head and said "I love you." I kissed his arm and said "I love you too...What time is it?"

Steve looked over at the clock and said "4:30...You wanna go back to sleep?" I shook my head and said "I can't now...I'm wide awake." He nodded and said "Okay, we can go and watch some TV...Maybe that one cartoon will be on this early. Come on, beautiful."

 


	4. We're All Broken, Sometimes

_"What a shame. we all became such fragile, broken things._  
_A memory remains just a tiny spark._  
_I give it all my oxygen,_  
_To let the flames begin_  
_To let the flames begin._  
  
_Oh, glory._  
_Oh, glory._  
_This is how we'll dance when,_  
_When they try to take us down._  
_This is what will be oh glory._  
  
_Somewhere weakness is our strength,_  
_And I'll die searching for it._  
_I can't let myself regret such selfishness._  
_My pain and all the trouble caused,_  
_No matter how long_  
_I believe that there's hope_  
_Buried beneath it all and_  
_Hiding beneath it all, and_  
_Growing beneath it all, and..._  
  
_This is how we'll dance when,_  
_When they try to take us down_  
_This is how we'll sing it._  
_This is how we'll stand when_  
_When they burn our houses down._  
_This is what will be oh glory."_

_**-** "Let The Flames Begin" by Paramore_

***

(A Few Days Later)

 

(Bucky's POV)

 

Steve asked me over and over if I was ready to talk to Doctor Banner. He said "You don't have to if you're not ready Buck, give it some time if you need it." And I keep telling him the same thing over and over, I _want_ to talk to Banner.

This morning I told him I was gonna go, and he asked "Are you sure, baby? You don't have to if you're not ready." I told him "Steve I swear to God, if you say that _one more time_ , I'm gonna start throwing punches."

But I don't blame him for asking, he's just looking out for me. But hearing that for almost a week now, yeah it got annoying. But I love him, so I got over it. In the afternoon, I went down to a couple floors to where Doctor Banner was staying, and I knocked on his door.

A few seconds later, the door opened, and he smiled. "Good afternoon, Bucky." I nodded and said "Doctor Banner...You busy?" He shook his head and said "Oh no please, come in." I nodded and followed him inside. 

He closed the door and asked "How are you feeling?" I said "Better." He asked "Are you following my advice?" I nodded and said "Yep. Every word." He said "Good! Do you mind if I check your stomach?" I nodded and said "Sure, Go ahead." I lifted my shirt up until it was under my ribs and let him go to town. 

He carefully undid the bandages and he said "The bleeding has lightened up tremendously...By the looks of it, it should stop in a few days if you continue to be careful. If you bumo into anything it's okay, but just don't get punched or kicked here." I nodded and he continued to look at it.

It felt a little awkward, but I wasn't uncomfortable. He's a doctor after all. But I'd be hesitant to try and piss him off, cause we both know how that would end. And I really don't care to meet the not-so-Jolly Green Giant at the moment. But I trust him.

He said "There's bruising, but other than that it looks to be healing quite nicely. You'll feel like a million bucks in no time." I nodded and said "Good." He said "Here, I'll put some fresh bandaging on, and then we'll talk." I nodded and after he did that, he said "There, all set. You can put your shirt back down. Let's talk."

I let my shirt drop back down, and he led menover to a couple chairs nearby. We both sat down, and he grabbed a pen and a clipboard. He said "I know this may look bad, but I want you to know something, Bucky. I am not here to judge you. I will however assess your feelings, and have them written down, but they will not leave this room. You and I can talk about anything you want, anything at all, but starting today, our conversations will between just the two of us. You can trust me with whatever is on your mind. No one else will know, and I will only speak if it if you are speaking of causing harm to yourself or to anyone else. Okay?"

I nodded and he smiled. "Good. Would you like to know what I've gathered from my time around you?" I said "Um....Yeah, sure." He said "You have been through a lot, Bucky. That is quite obvious. But it's not a bad thing. You have been through a lot of emotional, mental, and psychological abuse. You were surrounded by people who were extremely manipulative, and they used you."

Suddenly I remember I was back at one of the cells, in a room. I was asked by Pierce to give the mission report, but I didn't answer. Then he slapped me and forced them to wipe my memory again, cause I remembered Steve.

Doctor Banner said "The first week you were here, I had done multiple tests, CAT scans, excreta, and a great deal of your memory was taken from you. Although we had fun subduing you so I could perform the tests. And I can't tell if you can fully recover your memory. It's like you're a patient with Alzheimer's. Except you won't die from it, but there are large gaps in where memories are stored. You could gain all of your memory back soon, or you may spend years just piecing together things one at a time. I can't give you a full guarantee, Bucky."

I nodded and he said "But! I can give you ways to help improve your memory. Different foods, and exercises that can help price it together slowly, but quicker than not doing anything at all." 

I nodded and he said "I'd like you to add things to your diet like Plums, Blueberries, Avacado's, Beetroot, Salmon, Walnuts, Tumeric, those are wonderful for improvement of focus and memory." I'll have Steve go grocery shopping. He wrote them down and handed it to me, which I folded and put it in my pocket. He said "I'd also like for you to incorporate at least an hour of meditation every day to relieve stress, and keep a journal.."

Then he pulled out a notebook and said "Write down in it every day, write as many times as you like. I find writing a good way to let some feelings out in a constructive way, if you feel that you cannot share them with anyone else. And this journal could become your best friend. Because writing down daily feelings and thoughts, will be there for you if you start to forget things. You can put in pictures of us and write down all you know about us, so you can remember. Put in Steve, me, everyone and anyone you want to out in it. You don't have to share it with anyone, it's yours now."

He handed me the notebook and I said "Thank you." He nodded and I asked "Could I write down my dreams and nightmares, too?" He nodded and said "You can put in whatever you want. It's yours, write down anything you think of or feel." I nodded and asked "What um...What if I wanted to let Steve read it?" 

He shrugged and said "That's not up to me, Bucky. If you think he's the only one you could trust with your private thoughts and feelings, then by all means, share it with him." I nodded and he said "He really does love you, you know." 

I looked up at him and he smiled. He said "I can see it. He worries about you. I've never seen him so terrified in all the time I've known him. When you got shot. He was screaming for backup, and he was yelling at us for us to save you. He's crazy about you. Before you came after him, he seemed depressed. Guilty, even. He kind of kept to himself, but we didn't push him. But you could see he had some sort of weight on his heart. But now that he has you again, you can tell how happy he's become. You mean the world to him, Bucky. And he's a good man."

I smiled at the thought of it. I said "I love him too...When I got shot, just one thing kept going in my mind. I kept thinking _'thank God it's me and not you.'_ I was afraid of dying, but I wanted to keep fighting. I didn't want to leave him." He nodded and said "I have a feeling that you two will be very happy together...Maybe even get married some day."

I snorted and said "Right...Who would allow that? Two guys getting married, we'd get slapped with Bibles." He laughed and said "Actually, you're wrong. Times have changed. Gays are more accepted. People still dislike them, but you don't have to be afraid of being judged too harshly. Two men can get married, two women, it is attainable now."

Wow.....I've been asleep for way too long. I got kinda shy about kissing Steve when other people saw. Buknoe w that I know this, I can relax. I asked "Soooo I could full on make out with him in Time Square, and nobody would give a rats ass about it?" He laughed and said "Well I wouldn't condone make outs in public like that, it may become awkward, and you might get yelled at by parents for potentially scarring their children. But you can still kiss him and hold his hand and so forth in public. If you wanted."

I nodded and I asked "How do you do it?...How do you manage having a...Split personality?" He said "It's a daily battle. I've tried to kill myself...But nothing ever works. I've been shot at hundred of times, had grenades thrown at me...But nothing can kill me unless it's something colossal.. I try hard to conceal the other guy. And I try to stay out of the fight, because I know I'd win."

I nodded and asked "What helps you hide the other guy?" He smiled and said "Baroque music, opera...Reading, Science, and Natasha...She does something to calm the other guy, so I can take the wheel...She's not afraid of me. I just hope to God she isn't one of my victims...She's the only woman on this planet who doesn't see me as a monster."

I nodded and said "You're a good man, Doctor Banner...I could see you two together." He smiled and I asked "Is there anything else you want to talk about?" He shrugged and said "I don't know...Is there anything else you wanna talk about?" I shook my head and said "Not really, no."

He nodded and said "Okay. Maybe next time we'll have more. If you'd like to speak with me again?" I nodded and said "Yeah, I'd like that." He smiled and said "Good. Well my door is always open, you can you come talk to me whenever you'd like." I nodded and said "Okay...Thank you." He said "Any time." 

I got up to leave when I turned around and asked "One more thing...How often you have nightmares?" His face remained the same and he said "Constantly...Almost every night.." I asked "How do you manage that?" He said "I don't know...I ask myself that a lot....But Natasha once told me that I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am. Although I have a lot to be ashamed of. She just tells me "it's okay, Bruce. You're not a monster. You're flawed. And so am I." And she's right. We're all flawed. We're all broken. We're selfish, we always want more, and we're all monsters. But its how we chose to tame the monster, that really counts."

I nodded and he said "I know you think you're a monster, Bucky. I don't think you are. But how are you gonna tame the monster inside of you?" 


	5. Take My Whole Life Too

_"Wise men say,_  
_Only fools rush in._  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_  
_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you?_  
  
_Like a river flows_  
_Surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand,_  
_Take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_  
  
_Like a river flows_  
_Surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand,_  
_Take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you."_

_-"Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley_

_***_

As soon as I got back to our floor, I saw Steve sitting on the couch, watching TV. Then he looked over at me and smiled. "Hey Buck. How'd it go?" I didn't answer, I just marched over to him, got on top of him until I was straddling his lap, and crashed my lips onto his.

He was surprised by it, but kissed me back. I held his face in my hands and let my fingers find his soft blond hair. After a minute I pulled away and we just stared at each other. He panted and asked "That good, huh?"

I smiled and said "Sorry....I just love you.." He smiled and said "I love you too, Buck. How'd it go?" I said "Good. Good. He gave me a list of certain stuff to eat to help my memory, I have to meditate an hour every day, and he gave me a journal to write in every day too. He said it could really help get my memory back." 

He smiled and said "Well that's good." I nodded and said "Well I probably won't get everything back, but I could get a lot back." He nodded and rested his hands on my sides. He said "You'll get there, Bucky." I smiled and said "I know." We kissed again and he asked "Anything else?" I said "Well I will write in the journal every day, but the only person who's allowed to read it besides me, is gonna be you."

He said "Bucky, you don't need to do that. Those are your private thoughts, you don't have to share them with me." I said "I want to." He asked "Are you sure?" I nodded and I said "I trust you, Steve." He smiled and said "You should." I smiled and we kissed again. Then I said "Oh, and Doctor Banner said something interesting.." 

He asked "What was it?" I said "Well he told me...He said two guys can get married now...Same with girls. A lot of people still don't like it, but it can happen." He smiled and said "That's great, Bucky." I nodded and before I could even think about it, I blurted out "Marry me." He raised both eyebrows and asked "What?" I said "Marry me, Steve...I want you to marry me."

He just looked at me speechless and said "Bucky-" "I know it probably sounds too soon, but Doctor Banner said  he can see that you love me. That you worry about me. He said when I got shot, you look scared to death. Yoi were yelling at them to help me. He said you're crazy about me...He said that I mean the world to you...Was he lying?" 

He shook his head and said "No. He's right. Bucky I am hopelessly in love with you. As sappy as it sounds. I've loved you ever since I met you. I can't lose you again...I'm not strong enough for that." He reached his hand out and grabbed mine, before resting my palm against his heart. He asked "You feel that?" His heartbeat was soft and steady, but I felt it pick up a little pace. He said "That's what my heart does every time I've looked at you. You are everything to me, Buck...And I will marry you. You don't have to say it again, cause I will."

A huge grin broke out on both our faces, and I said "Oh Steve, thank you." I kissed him hard before hugging him. I closed my eyes and said "I love you." He hugged me back, but tighter and said "I love you too. Forever."

***

(6 Months Later)

 

(Still Bucky's POV)

 

I grumbled as I tried to straighten out my stupid tie. I sighed and asked "Do I look okay??" Natasha said "Oh shut up Bucky, you look great!" I said "My hair looks stupid, what guy wears a damn ponytail??" She said "Lot's of guys do it now, now shut up so we can finish." I was in our apartment being manhandled by Natasaha and a girl named Wanda who's from Sokovia. She's really nice. Steve on the other hand, was getting ready in Starks place a few floors up.

They forced me to sit back down and I said "I still look stupid....Goddamn monkey suit.." Natasha groaned and muttered "I thought the term Bridezilla was only supposed to apply to women." In Russian. Thankfully I've picked up Russian during my days as the Winter Soldier, and I replied "I heard that." Her and Wanda laughed and Natasha said "You were supposed to." 

They stepped back and looked down at me. I asked "Are you sure I look okay?" Wanda said "Yes, we are sure. You look very charming." I snorted and Natasha said "She's not lying Bucko, she means it. You shouldn't be so worried about what you look like-" "I don't wanna look bad in front of Steve." Wanda snorted and said "Oh please. He is cookoo for CoCoa puffs with you. Don't be so hard on yourself."

I looked down at my hands and saw they were shaking. I swallowed and said "I'm just really nervous." Natasha squared down, being careful not to ruin her dress, and said "It's okay to be nervous. You're getting married, any sane person would be scared to death."

I could still feel my hands shaking, and she took them both in hers. "You'll be okay...Everything's gonna go great...You're gonna marry the love of your life, just keep that in mind." I nodded and Wanda said "He does love you." I smiled and said "I know."

***

(Steve's POV)

I was in the bathroom in Tony's place, adjusting my tie in the mirror. There was a knock on the door and I heard "Cap? You good? You need me to send the National Guard?" I chuckled and said "No Tony, I'm good." He said "Well open up the door old man, let me look at you. I straightened my jacket and sighed, before opening the door. 

Tony stood there in his suit, which obviously was expensive. He paid for all the suits, as well as the whole wedding. He smiled and said "Wow...Who knew a $5,000 suit could look good on a Ninety something year old." I chuckled and asked "$5,000? For a stupid monkey suit? You're out of your mind, Stark." He nodded and said "I've heard worse. But you look good, Grandpa...You excited?"

I nodded and said "Yeah." "Nervous?" I nodded and said "Oh yeah." We both laughed and he said "Well don't be. You're getting married man, get pumped up!" I said "I am...But that's what's making me nervous." He said "Well get relaxing cause I have another present for you." I raised an eyebrow and asked "What is it?"

He said "You'll find out later, at the reception. Now finish getting ready before you break a hip, you've got a blushing bride to look forward to, Rogers." 

***

(Bucky's POV)

I asked "How much time do we got?" Natasha checked her phone and said "Shit. Less than fiftenn minutes." I nodded and she asked "Do I look okay?" I smiled and said "You look gorgeous." She really did. Her and Wanda looked amazing in their dressed. Natasha had on a long sparkly black dress that clung to her for dear life, and Wanda had on a long silky red dress, with lipstick to match it. They both looked like beautiful pin up girls.

"You girls look great." They smiled and Wanda said "We must go now. Or Stark will kill us." We laughed and I asked "Wait, who's walking me down the aisle again?" Natasha walked up and linked her arm with mine. "I am, Sweet cheeks." I smiled and Wanda said "Come come. We have to go." 

***

The three of us took the elevator all the way down to the lobby, and rushed to get through to one of the main conference halls, where the wedding is taking place. Since obviously no church would take two men wanting to get married, we have to work with what we got. Stark Tower it is. And the Reception is gonna take place in the main conference room, which was way bigger.

Wanda then looked at us and said "See you soon." Then her eyes focused on me and said "It will be alright." I nodded and she went inside to join the rest of the crowd. I asked "How much time?" She checked and said "Three minutes...You ready to get married, Tiger?" I nodded and said "Yeah." She said "Hey, look at me." I looked and she said "Just breathe. Okay?" 

I nodded and asked "Wait...Aren't there supposed to be people in front of us? Not just us standing in front of the doors?" She shrugged and said "I guess Tony wanted to try something new." Suddenly the room before us went quiet. You could just hear the sounds of people standing up, and I thought my heart was gonna stop. Thankfully I wasn't sweating much. But I still felt nervous as hell.

Natasha put her free hand on my arm and said "Breathe, Barnes...Just breathe." I nodded and took a deep breath, and we heard the wedding march come on. Natasha smiled and said "Show time." And we walked through the doors.

My eyes immediately landed on Steve. His face ust lit up like a Christmas tree, and I could see tears in his eyes from here. That made my eyes tear up, and Natasha said "It's okay." I nodded and the walk down the aisle felt like it stretched on forever. The crowd consisted of a lot of S.H.I.E.L.D agents with guests, and some people I didn't know.

Up at the front with bridesmaids, was Wanda, Stark's girlfriend Pepper, and a Brunette agent who's name escapes me. Behind Steve was Tony, Doctor Banner, Clint, and Sam. I saw Thor sitting in the front with his girlfriend Jane. Early on during the planning, we asked Thor if he wanted to be apart of the Groom's party, but he said no. He said he wanted to observe what a wedding on Earth was like. And the minster was none other than Nick Fury. Seeing that made me laugh a little, and helped me calm downs some.

Once we reached the end of the aisle, Natasha turned and whispered "Go get 'em, Tiger." And kissed me on the cheek. I gave her a kiss on the cheek, before we broke apart, and she joined the rest of the bridesmaids... I'm assuming I'm the bride. Eh, whatever. I don't mind. 

I then walked over to Steve, and his watery eyes made me tear up again. Dammit Steve. The second I was right in front of him, he grabbed both my hands in his, and whispered "You're so beautiful." I smiled and said "So are you." He smiled and Fury began. "Dearly beloved...Now since I'm not a minister and all that shit, y'all are gonna have to work with me." 

The crowd laughed and he said "So I don't drag this out for hours, it's my honor to be here today. And I am honored to bring two fellas who love each other, together. Even though they're a pain in my ass sometimes, I am more than happy to get them hitched." We all laughed again and my eyes went back to Steve. His eyes never left me, hell, he barely moved at all. 

"Since I don't really care about all the typical wedding vow shit, the boys have decided to write their own vows. These vow come from the heart, but don't make me cry." We laughed and Steve said "I'll go first if you want." I shrugged and said "Go ahead."

He smiled and took a deep, shaky breath. He said "Bucky...We've known each other since we were kids. You were the only friend I had. For years you've helped fight off bullies, tried to set me up with girls...Which always failed miserably. You and your mom took me into your home after my mom died...I always looked up at you. You were a brother to me, and it took me so long to realize that I was in love with you...And when I lost you during the war..." 

He stopped for a minute and looked down at his feet. He took a deep breath and pulled his head back up, and looked at me. "After I lose you during the war....It felt like my whole world shattered. Like a knife was just shoved into my heart, and it stayed there. I spent the next few days crying when I lost you...I was a wreck. And before I got frozen, I was hoping I would drown when I crashed the plane...I thought you were dead, and I didn't wanna keep you waiting."

Hearing that made me almost lose it, and a few tears streamed down my face. I quickly wiped them away and he kept going. "After I woke up, the knife was still in there. And after I saw you were alive, it's like it got pulled out. And now here I am. Standing in front of the most beautiful thing in my life. About to be a married man. It feels like a dream, and sometimes I'm scared that I'm gonna wake up from the ice, and none of it being real. James Buchanan Barnes, I love you. I love you so much. And I'll never stop loving you...I'm with you till the end of the line, baby."

A lot of people in the crowd were crying, Tony was crying, I could hear the girls behind me crying, I was definitely crying. Then Fury said "Dammit Roger's, I said don't make me cry!" We all laughed and Fury said "Alright Bucky, do your thing." I nodded and said "Steve...Despite a lot of my memory being erased..I know we must've had a hell of a time back before any of this. After Hydra turned me into their little errand boy, I saw nothing but darkness, and death...And all of it was my fault...I could drown in all the blood I've spilled.."

Come on Barnes, keep it together. Breathe. I took a deep breath and said "But then on the bridge...When you first saw me. It felt like a bright light just lit up the dark...I knew you, I wanted to remember you, I wanted to know more about you. I pleaded for them not to wipe my mind again, but they wouldn't listen. And ever since you guys found me...Everything felt different. I didn't feel used, or lied to, or damaged. I felt happy. I know these vows must really suck, cause I couldn't _possibly_ compete with yours."

He smiled and said "It's okay baby...You're great." I smiled and said "But Steve, I'm just crazy about you. I feel like we we're meant to be friends back then, and that we were meant to fall in love. I'm not a huge believer in fate, but I like it more because it brought me to you. And I love you, Stevie...You're the light in the dark, you're my Heaven, and I love you...And I'm with you till the end of the line, baby."

He smiled and Nick said "Alright, that's better." We laughed and he asked "Nowz who the hell has the rings?" Tony said "I do." He handed Steve two rings, and Steve handed me one of them. Steve held my hand, slid the ring on my finger said "With this ring, I promise to love you, be honest with you always, and cherish you until my heart stops beating. And if I should break this promise, may my mother come down from Heaven and whack me with a wooden spoon." 

We laughed and I slid the ring for him on his finger. I said "With this ring, I promise to love you, be honest with you always, and cherish you until my heart stops beating. And if I should break this promise, may God condemn me to a worse hell than Hydra put me through." Then Nick said "Alright before I start crying and end up kicking your asses, I prounce you husbands, partners, whatever, just kiss."

Steve moved closer to me, and took my face in his hands. My heart started speeding up fast, and we stared into each others eyes. Then he leaned down until his lips landed on mine. I quickly kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck, almost missing the crowd cheering. 

I didn't want to break away, but eventually we did, and the whole room stood up and cheered. That's when I lost it and started blubbering like a baby. Steve held me and said "Don't cry baby, don't cry...It's okay, shh." I nodded and pulled myself together. I turned to the girls and they were all trying to recover from crying. Natasha said "You're lucky my makeup is waterproof, Barnes...Or I'd kick your ass." 

I smiled and hugged her, before hugging the rest of the girls. I shook hands and hugged the guys, and then Tony yelled "Alright everyone into the other conference room, let's get this party started!" We all cheered, and I felt Steve intertwine our fingers. He smiled and said "Come on, beautiful. Let's show these whipper snappers how we party, 1930's style." I giggled and said "Alright." And we all headed to the reception.

***

The new age is weird. After eating and cutting the cake, Steve and I got to have our first dance. Some song called Lovesong by a woman named Adele? Strange name for a woman. But the song was romantic and beautiful. Natasha was the one who told us what the song was, cause we asked. The way it sounded, sounded like it could be back from the 30's.

The swing music and dancing from the 30's is gone. The music and the dancing now is...Odd. But it didn't look too bad. It actually looked kinda fun. We did get to have a few songs back from our time, and we showed some things. Well Steve helped me too, since I can't remember ever dancing. It was funny watching Thor, God of Thunder, Son of Odin of Asgard, try to dance. But everyone looked like they were having a really great time.

After a little bit, Tony went up and grabbed a microphone. He said "Alright guy, everyone quiet. Hey! Y'all behave now, I've got something to say!" Everyone fell silent and we turned our attention to him. He said "Okay first off, lemme just say I should get into wedding planning, cause this wedding and the reception are awesome!" Everyone cheered and he said "I'm very happy to have helped my friends plan this wedding, and I don't mind at all that I've played for this stressful thing."

Everyone laughed and then Tony said "Oh right! Steve, remember earlier when I told you I've got another present besides this wedding for you?" Steve nodded and Tony said "Well, I decided that this wedding shouldn't be the only present for you Senior Citizens, so Miss Pot's and I, arranged a honeymoon for you guys." 

My face lit up and Tony said "I have arranged a wonderful ten day vacation to Tahiti. You will be staying in the best resort, have all the free food you want, I've taken care of that, I've also allowed you some shopping money if you wanted to do that. Do all the sightseeing, swimming, tanning, and have all the gay sex you want, just don't speak a word of that part when you return." 

Everyone laughed and Tony smiled. "I'm really happy for you guys, congrats...And I hope you have a great honeymoon." Steve and I said "Thank you." And he said "Don't mention it. Well I have requested a song for you guys, we're gonna take it slow for the time being. This song was done by a _brilliant_ man known as Elvis Presley.." The whole crowd cheered and he said "But sadly this song was made outside of your time, so this will be the first time you hear it. Congrats again guys. Alright, play it!"

Suddenly the lights dimmed and a slow song started. Everyone was pairing up, I even saw Natasha ask Doctor Banner to dance. He looked scared, but she wasn't afraid. Then Steve cleared his throat and I looked at him. He smiled and asked "May I have this dance, Dollface?" I smiled and said "Yes you may."

 _"Wise men say,_  
_Only fools rush in._  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_  
_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you?"_

A lot of people in the room were singing along to the song. I liked it so far, it was nice. Doctor Banner and Natasha looked happy while they danced, Thor and Jane were dancing, Sam and some girl were dancing, even Clint and Wanda were dancing. Then I saw Tony and Pepper dancing. Tony is an asshole sometimes, but he looks so happy with Pepper. And she's a nice woman.

 _"Like a river flows_  
_Surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand,_  
_Take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you."_

Then I looked up at Steve, who was smiling down at me. He's so beautiful. He's like a Golden Retriever or a Labrador. Bubbly, friendly, and will drown you with love. And I'm more than happy to drown in it, if it's with him.

He leaned down and kissed me, before pressing our foreheads together. He sighed and said "I love you." I smiled and said "I love you too...Are you excited about being stuck with me in Tahiti for ten days?" He smiled and said "We're married now, Buck...I'm gonna be stuck with you forever. But I couldn't be happier." I smiled and he kissed me again.

When he pulled back, he said "Oh and the minute we're alone wherever we're staying...I declare war on you, Bucky Barnes." And wriggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way. I snorted and said "Should I suit up then for this unexpected battle?" He smiled and said "Please dear God, do the opposite." I smiled and kissed him. "Then war has been declared, Captain."

 _"Like a river flows_  
_Surely to the sea_  
_Darling, so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand,_  
_Take my whole life, too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you."_

 

_ **THE END** _


End file.
